We made it 7 full days living a healthy lifestyle...eating well, exercising, no alcohol. It has not been easy. This has been a trying week and if we were going to self medicate with martinis, this would have definitely been the week. The solar installation that had been delayed for months was finally being installed on Friday, then it started to rain, so it was stopped and hopefully will resume today.
Kathy's situation got more complicated. It always seems to be complicated with her to the point of exasperation. It's like an all consuming black cloud that that hovers and leaves it's sticky residue on everything. In addition to having the colostomy, she now has the portal of the colostomy receding into her abdomen...it never ends. All we want is to get her healthy enough to move near other family members and her friend Leah. The burden for Jim and me is almost more than we can handle. We're both exhausted and exasperated...the whole Kathy situation has been ongoing for 3-1/2 years...when does it stop? We are just too old for this. I feel angry and resentful that most of our marriage and my retirement has been darkened by such heavy responsibility. Being 70 and 80 doesn't help...we have enough to handle just dealing with our own age related health issues and life. I have enormous compassion for Kathy's situation this past year - its been hell for her. If what went on in her life prior to the cancer had been handled properly, this situation would have been a whole lot easier on everyone.
Yesterday Jim and I decided to get away for a little fun...alone...We went to brunch at the Point and a movie...a peaceful and relaxing day, except for the 4 phone calls from Kathy when we got home. We saw "Men Who Stare at Goats" starring George Clooney and Jeff Bridges...a cute, fun movie and George Clooney was at his normal, wacky self.
Last week wasn't a total loss - I am now up to riding 3 miles a day on my bike and 10 minutes a day on the rower/glider. I've lost about 5 lbs, but more important I have a little more energy and stamina. I want to build on that. The stress of the week is keeping my blood sugar higher than I like - it's in the 125-150 range at night and the 140+ range in the morning....this is not good. I can't imagine what it would been if I had not been exercising every day and attempting to eat healthy. Goal is to get blood sugar down to near 100 most of the time.
The installers are supposed to be back today to finish installing solar. If all goes well, we will have solar in place to support the holidays....hurrah!
If today's blog sounds sad and bitter, keep in mind that this blog is about sharing our life, so I think it's only right to share the dark and bright days. I could use a little sunshine today.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment